Things which do not grow and change are dead things.

Where does our beliefs come from? I’d say mostly our parents. They instil certain beliefs in us as we grow up and we tend to stick to those beliefs for the most of our lives.

Until we become teenagers.

As you might have experienced it yourself, this is the time we start to question everything, especially our parents. We start to question the beliefs they instilled on us. This is usually also the time we start to realise that we are different from other individuals. We start exploring our own identity. We also start to explore our own sexuality. I think it is easier for heterosexual people as they just keep carrying on in the way they were brought up to behave. For homosexual people this is the time they, or shall I say we, start to realise that we are different. We like the same sex more than the opposite sex. We realise that we get turned on by the same sex – god forbid! And then the inner struggle begins… I am not sure about girls, but most boys question their own sexuality more or less around the age of 14 to 15. They then decide or realise whether they are gay or straight.

Our beliefs are such a big part of us that we rarely question them. We rarely objectively look at our beliefs. Unless we are forced to when we realise we might be gay. We have to start to question those beliefs in order to successfully accept ourselves as gay. We have to challenge the norms of society. We have to realise that we have to almost perpendicularly go in against the norms of society.

It is said that gays are more evolved souls, since we have to go through so much shit to get to self acceptance and that there is immense personal growth involved. We do way more soul searching and introspection than the ordinary person on the street.

Think about these questions:

  • What do I believe about myself?
  • What do I believe I am capable of in my life?
  • What do I believe about other people’s relationships with me?

Let’s take it a step further:

  • What do I believe about heterosexuality?
  • What do I believe about homosexuality?
  • What do I believe about myself as a homosexual?
  • Which heterosexual beliefs are still of use to me as a homosexual?
  • Which heterosexual beliefs did I have to leave behind when I realised I was homosexual?

Did these questions challenge your beliefs about yourself? I truly hope so. Your beliefs can be limiting or empowering. I believe to challenge yourself from time to time is a good thing. Louise Erdrich said: “Things which do not grow and change are dead things.” Please do not stagnate. Keep on challenging yourself. Keep growing!

If you have any questions on this post, please leave a comment, or contact me directly.